Stress, anxiety & keeping your brain healthy

Everyone has good days and bad days, and I'm a firm believer that everyone has at least a little bit of anxiety in them. I know that I definitely do. It can come on at the most inconvenient times but I'm pretty certain that'll be the case for anyone who experiences it. When I get stressed out, I become anxious, and recently I've been feeling very stressed out for various reasons. 

Money causes me stress, moving house was stressful, planning for my holiday has been stressful, working on my assignment, work in general, and simply not having enough time to get this done are all very stressful! The list could probably go on and on, and all of this has had me looking like a huge ball of stress. 

Stress is such a horrendous feeling. Obviously the experience is completely different for each person. For me, it manifests into a physical sensation. My chest feels tight and my stomach wraps itself in knots. The majority of the time, I feel incredibly tense and on egde, which isn't enjoyable in the slightest. I tend to really retreat into myself when I'm feeling anxious. If I'm incredibly quiet then it's likely that something is worrying me. I have a habit of keeping things to myself, which I know isn't healthy, but it's a really bad habit that I have. 

It's not the end of the world when stress and anxiousness strikes though! 

There are so so many things you can do to help yourself cope. I know that, for me, making lists of all the things I have to do really helps me. I find it so much easier to visualise the things I need to do, and that way I can prioritise them accordingly as well. At work I'm forever making lists for my day ahead. I love being organised, so if I can try to stay one step ahead of the game then that really helps to keep me calm.

A couple of years ago I was suffering a lot with stress in one of my old jobs. My mum bought me The Little Book of Mindfulness by Dr Patrizia Collard, and it's filled with little exercises you can do to relax your mind and really give yourself a break. Mindfulness is all about living in the present moment instead of allowing your brain to wander and worry about other things, and it really makes sense in terms of de-stressing.

Exercise can really help to relax me sometimes. Whilst it's not always something I want to do when I'm feeling uptight, releasing all of that pent up anger and energy can make you feel as though a weight has been lifted from your shoulders. I feel like this probably works well for me because I tend to bottle things up, so a physical release is exactly what I need. If you don't fancy a lot of physical exertion then you could just go for a nice long walk? A Sunday afternoon walk can often work wonders for your mental health.

It sounds obvious, but making time to do the things you actually enjoy doing will help to combat some of those anxious feelings. I know that if I manage to get my blog written and posted during a busy week, or if I get a lot of reading & writing done, then I feel a million times better. When I'm productive, it makes me happy :)

The last thing I can think of that I do to beat stress and anxiety is something that's probably quite niche to myself. Watching Disney films does all kinds of good for me. It doesn't matter which film. I'll simply look through my collection, pick one, and enjoy. Maybe it's the feel-good factors of Disney films? Or maybe it's the whole 'getting caught up in a fantasy world' element of it? Either way, Walt's films are guaranteed to put a smile on my face and warm my little heart. 

I'm toddling off for two weeks now, on a well deserved holiday! Expect lots of posts, updates and pictures when I get back. Adios for now! :)

~ C xxx

Finding the right work/studying balance

Along with having a full time job, I'm also studying for a CICM qualification in Money and Debt Advice. I chose to do it because I firmly believe that if you're presented with an oppurtunity to better yourself in an academic way, and learn and develop, it would be silly not to take it. 

This blog is mostly about how I balance work and study time, as well as other things in my life, and my own studying techniques that I've learned over the years. 

Planning, planning and more planning!

This may sound blindingly obvious, but there were so many times in high school and at university when I didn't heed this advice. I also, cleverly, didn't listen to my own advice when I was given my first CICM assignment in March. I made the mistake of putting it off week after week, until I only had just over a month to finish it in. Not a good idea. 

It's so easy to be overly relaxed about your assigment/coursework/revision as soon as you're given it, but time flies by surprisingly quickly when you're not working hard. I can't stress this enough; don't wait to start your work. Don't use the excuse that you have plenty of time to write it.

Starting is usually the hardest part, so the sooner you do it, the better. Personally, I never start an assignment at the beginning. If it's an essay then I'll miss out the introduction and make a start on my first point because I can always go back and write the introduction later. With my assignment, for example, I look through and find a question that I feel most confident writing an answer for, because that's far better than struggling for ages on the very first question.

It may sound silly, but plan your weeknights when you come home from work. I know that Monday night is Game of Thrones night, so my plan for the evening is really important if I want to fit any study time in. I'll come home, exercise for 30 mins, have a shower, cook my dinner, wash up, do at least 1 hour's work and then watch Game of Thrones at 9pm. 

Make sure you leave yourself enough time to finish everything. That's why planning is key. Hindsight has taught me that lesson many times. 

Create your own workspace

Everyone works differently. Some people work best in silence, while others need a little bit of noise to get the gears in their brain turning. Making sure you have the ideal workspace will encourage you to be more productive. If I sit down in front of the TV with my laptop, I can guarantee that I won't get anything done, and that includes my own personal writing and blogs. If I can see that there's something on TV, even if I'm not interested in watching it, I'll still get distracted. My brain likes to do its best to avoid doing the things I know I need to do, which I'm almost certain is the case for most people. 

At university I managed to write my entire dissertation whilst sat in bed. I had no TV and no distractions in my room, and plenty of space to spread all my notes and paperwork out, so it was the perfect place to work. Well, not perfect because sitting in bed like that for so long isn't great for your posture, but it got me through my dissertation. 

Personally, I can't work in silence. I mostly listen to movie scores while I work (don't call me weird...) because while it's still music, there are no words to distract me or get me to sing along. Half the time if I listen to music with words I end up either singing along or typing the lyrics, neither of which is good.

Know when to stop working 

Sounds counter-productive, but stay with me here.

There's no sense in working yourself into the ground, even if you have a lot to do. You're one person and you can only do what one person can do. So if you get tired, then sleep. Take regular breaks to keep your brain focused. If you've been working for a very long period of time, chances are your brain won't want to co-operate, especially if you've been at work all day as well.

Don't say no to every social gathering that comes your way. Yes, it's important to work had and make sure you fit in study time after work or on weekends, but also make sure you have time way from it too. Go out and meet friends, visit family, go for a walk - anything that gets you away from the computer and the books.

Personally, I find that this is where good planning comes into play. For example, with my most recent assignment, I know that I'll be away for some time just before it's due it. Of course, I'm not taking my assignment on holiday with me, and similarly I can't ditch the holiday to finish the work! So, I've made sure to finish as much as I possibly can before I go, and that way I'm not panicking when I come home and only have two weeks left to do it. 

Balance between work, studying, social life and hobbies is so important. It can feel really difficult sometimes, but once you get it under control you'll feel so productive.

If you've got any tips for balancing work and studying, or just tips for studying in general, feel free to leave a comment!

~ C xxx

Powerful Ladies in Game of Thrones

Game of Thrones season 7 has had everyone talking and speculating about how the show will end, and what secrets are still waiting to be revealed about our favourite characters. Last week and this weeks episodes were both brilliant, and it's clear that the last few episodes of this season, and then the final season, will be dominated by the powerful female characters that have been developing since the very beginning.

It's so difficult for me to pick a favourite character because I love so many of them. That, and I'm also too afraid to get attached to any characters for fear of them popping their clogs in the next episode! 

FYI, there will be spoilers in this blog for the new season, so if you're not fully up to date yet then don't read on.

Brienne of Tarth

I love Brienne. Whether she's kicking Podrick to the ground during a sparring match or avoiding Tormund's longing looks, she's one of the most loyal and noble characters on the whole show. I'm almost certain that I've loved her since we first met her and I just want her to stay by Sansa's side and finally teach Podrick how to fight properly. She's the perfect example of a physically strong woman - she can take care of herself perfectly well which is most definitely needed in the Game of Thrones verse.  

Missandei 

Hallelujah, Missandei and Greyworm finally got together! (sort of) Honestly, I didn't think Missandei would live as long as she has done, mostly down to the fact that she's a fairly soft character, and most of them have been pretty doomed throughout every season. If you're not a sword wielding badass or a complete psychopath then you're usually in danger of being killed off in Game of Thrones. That being said, I'm really glad Missandei is still by Daenerys' side, and I think she was the perfect figurehead while Dany disappeared for a while back in season 6. She's one of the few female characters left who uses her stereotypically feminine traits as her strengths and I'm so here for that.

Cersei Lannister

I love to hate Cersei. Do I want to see her die a fiery, dragon-fuelled death? Absolutely. But I can't deny that she's a phenomenal character. She's developed from a tortured Queen who was so unhappy with her life, to pretty much the H.B.I.C. and it's all thanks to how sneaky and clever she is. Besides the vomit inducing scenes with Jaime that I find really difficult to watch, I'm hooked every time she's on screen. Who's she going to torture next? How will she do it? Will she unleash any more wildfire on King's Landing? Is she the Mad Queen just like Aerys Targaryen was the Mad King? Who knows... My only hope is that Tyrion gets to see the end of her if/when she finally does die. He's endured so much hatred from her, so I feel like he at least deserves that.

Yara Greyjoy

Yara grew on me so much during season 6. She makes a great ruler, and I'm praying that she's not about to die at the hands of her uncle because she should be leading the ironborn, not him. I was so excited when she travelled to meet Daenerys and formed an alliance with her, and my naivety got the better of me because I was sure that nothing could stop them at all. I harboured some hatred for Theon when he abandoned her during the attack from Euron Greyjoy, but let's be honest, Theon has been through a lot. It's no wonder he's suffering from some form of PTSD. If Yara survives then I'll be eternally happy.

Sansa Stark

Sansa is fast becoming one of my favourite characters. I love how resilient she's become, and she's been on a heck of a horrendous journey to get there. I think she gets a lot of unnecessary hate from fans which annoys me because what has she done wrong? Okay, fair enough, she was a spoiled brat to begin with, but she's endured so much and grown massively as a character. I'd say, besides Theon Greyjoy, she's had one of the most difficult journeys of any character. First Joffrey, then Ramsay Bolton... just the thought of both of them makes me shudder. All I'll say is; #ProtectSansaStark   

Arya Stark

Arya is everyone's favourite needle-wielding teenager. I absolutely love how strong and cunning she's become. People underestimate her so much, but it always ends up working in her favour. I'll admit, I wasn't a huge lover of the faceless men plot she was involved in for AGES. For me, it dragged on way too long and frustrated me everytime episodes cut to those scenes. That being said, it's given us the Arya we have today. Part of me does worry for her because she's so consumed with a need for revenge, and I fear it could be her downfall? I hope I'm wrong though, and I hope she cottons on to Littlefinger's heinous plans and uses that Valyrian knife against him.

Daenerys Targaryen 

The Mother of Dragons holds a very special place in my heart. Ever since she emerged from the fire unburnt, I knew we were on to a winner with Daenerys. She's the people's Queen, and with the right advisors by her side (i.e. Tyrion and Jon), she'd be the perfect ruler of the Seven Kingdoms. I could list so many awesome things about her. I love that she essentially has two sides; gentle, kind Dany and "I'll cook you with my dragon if you don't bend the knee" Dany. She's definitely made some mistakes because she doesn't always listen to her advisors, but at the end of the day her intentions are pure. She wants to claim the throne back for her family name, but not because she's greedy or hungry for power, because she wants the best for the people. #MotherofDragonsforQueen

Final note; GENDRY IS BACK! GENDRY IS BACK! GENDRY IS BAAAACK!

Okay, I'm done now :)

~ C xxx

Moving out...

The past few weeks have been pretty exhausting, mostly because I've been trying to fit packing all of my things in at the weekends and after work, in preparation for moving in with one of my closest friends. I've moved out once before, when I went to university, but this time it feels a lot more permanent. I'm 25 now, and I feel like it's high time I had my own space away from home. I'll always love being at home because I'm most definitely a homebird, but it's nice to have more indepedence and just be able to do my own thing. Part of me feels like I'm waiting for my life to properly start, even though that's not really the case at all.

Living at home again for the past four years has been great. It's enabled me to save money and learn how to best manage my pennies and be nice and comfortable for a few years. Honestly, I'm thankful that my parents could stand having me around for so long! I'll miss not being around them all the time because I do get on with them (most of the time), but they're only a phone call/short walk away :)

This blog post is less about tips for moving out, and more about my own general experience. I'll be honest and say I really don't have any tips for moving. I find it so stressful and it drives me a little bit crazy. Maybe don't have as much stuff as I do? That's a top tip if there ever was one. I've had far too much crap to sort through, and have still left a whole load of it at home to go back and organise.

Also, it's sod's law that the weekend I've decided to move I've come down with a delightful cough/cold/sore throat combination, so I'm trying to nurse myself back to health as well as getting used to living in a new house. So far I'm still sniffling, but hopefully downing plenty of Lemsip will do the trick.

At the moment I'm on day 2 of my move, so I'm still getting used to everything. My room isn't exactly how I want it yet, and there are a few technical things that need fixing, but they're not major issues. As soon as I've managed to save up a little more money over the coming months I'm planning to get a few more things sorted. 

I know I'll settle in well, it'll just take a little bit of time getting used to living with someone else again, which is totally normal. It's definitely making me want to save for my own house as soon as I can! :) I can't wait to have my very own place.

~ C xxx

July Reads

I bought a lot of books in July, mainly because I'm going on holiday soon and there are a million books I want to read. But this post isn't going to revolve around what I've bought, rather, what I've been reading this month. I'm not a fast reader - never have been and probably never will be - and I've thoroughly enjoyed the books I finished/read most of this past month.

The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Attwood

I can't put into words how much I adored this book. Honestly, I should've read the Handmaid's Tale years ago. We made reference to it on one of my course modules at University and I wish I'd picked it up sooner. I think I can safely say it's going to take a place as one of my all time favourite books. 

For those who don't already know what the book is about, it revolves around a dystopian future where women are essentially 'repurposed'. Some are used as vessels for birthing children, others take their places as wives, and the rest either live and work for the wives and their husbands, or they're sent away to quite literally die. Sex is no longer considered a pleasure, and is instead simply a necessity for birthing the next generation. We follow Offred's journey in this world, and find out how the world came to be this way from her perspective.

I think the reason why this book hit such a nerve with me was because it's an alternative reality that isn't obscure or wacky or completely unimaginable. It has a chilling sense of potential reality to it and isn't something that couldn't ever happen. We live in a world where there are regimes and countries that still treat women as commodities, so it's not as far from home as we might think.

With such a heavy plot, I half expected the book to be difficult to read. Sometimes I find that when the subject matter of a novel is darker I struggle to enjoy the writing as much as the plot itself. It often jars with me and takes me much longer to read than usual. This wasn't the case with The Handmaid's Tale though. Each chapter flowed seamlessly to the next for me, and I really enjoyed Margaret Attwood's writing style. I definitely want to read more of her books.

The recent TV adaptation of The Handmaid's Tale is actually what spurred me on to get the book finished as quickly as I could. I've only watched episode 1 so far, but I'm really excited to see how they've translated the book to the screen. I've certainly heard good things about it at least.

Wilde Like Me by Louise Pentland

This book is so delightful so far. Personally, I think that's the best word to describe it. I haven't finished it yet, and I'm about halfway through and really loving it.  When I first bought it and started reading, part of me thought that it wouldn't be a book that would suit me. I'm not a mother, nor do I have any plans in the future to become one, and that is an integral part of the plot, so from the off I was worried that I wouldn't connect with the main character. 

However, I was wrong, and found that I could relate to Robin Wilde in so many different ways. Louise has a lovely way with words, and manages to really convey her leading lady's thoughts in a casually written way, but without being too chatty and colloquial -if that makes any sense at all. What I mean is, sometimes I read a book and feel like too much slang and quirky character phrases are used, and the voice feels forced to me. This book didn't feel like that. 

One thing that I connected with immediately in this novel is the reference to 'The Emptiness'. Robin is a single mother and, like so many people do, often suffers from a crippling sense of self doubt and sadness that washes over her at the most inconvenient times. The moment I read her description of said feeling, I instantly knew it and connected with Robin as a character immediately.

"I start to feel stressed because there are too many people in the house, but then remember how the quiet moments don't always feel so peaceful.
I've named that feeling The Emptiness. When I feel far away and isolated. I have days where I am consumed by anxiety and loneliness, and I just feel so flat. Lyla will be at school and I'll be at home all alone and feeling like I have no place in the world, or like I am a speck of nothingness, desperate for my life not to feel so sad."

So far, we've seen Robin battling this barrage of emotions, all while taking care of Lyla, stepping up the career ladder and meeting a new man. I'm excited to find out how the book ends!

Reader, I Married Him by Tracy Chevalier

I picked up this book purely because of the title. It screamed Jane Eyre at me from across the bookshop, so naturally I had to buy it. I don't often read short stories because I like to get my teeth stuck into a novel usually, but I've really enjoyed reading every story in this collection so far, and it's been lovely fitting in one or two during my lunch break. I only have 1 left to read out of 21, and each one is based around an aspect of Jane Eyre.

I have a few favourite stories, and I know I'd struggle to pick just one. 'Since I First Saw Your Face' by Emma Donoghue, 'Dorset Gap' by Tracy Chevalier, 'The Self-Seeding Sycamore' by Lionel Shriver, and 'The Orphan Exchange' by Audrey Niffenegger have been my favourites of the whole collection. Some stories take Jane Eyre from Mr Rochester's perspective, others choose Grace Poole's point of view, and some relate to the novel in a completely unexpected way.

I definitely think this collection will spur me on to read more short stories. Sometimes it's so much more satisfying to finish something short and sweet, expecially for a slow reader like myself. I've already had my eye on a the 2017 Best British Short Stories collection in Waterstones. No doubt I'll end up buying that because when it comes to books my ability to exercise restraint is non-existent.

I'm seeing Jane Eyre at the Grand Theatre in Leeds this Friday, so I'm really excited for that. I accidentally timed the reading of Tracy Chevalier's short story collection perfectly! :)

~ C xxx