I have such an odd relationship with Valentine's Day. On the one hand I love romance, mostly the films that give us all such a false idea of how a relationship should be, and I eat all of it up just like the movie-makers want me to. On the other hand (the bitter part of me) I can't stand seeing people's soppy posts on facebook and instagram, and it quite literally makes my stomach turn. Bitter Courtney hates seeing people loved up and happy, and that's just something I've grown to accept (I'm not bitter all the time though, I promise c:).
I remember having mixed feelings when I was a kid as well. When I was about 5 or 6 years old, I received an anonymous Valentine's card through the post, and I remember this day so vividly. I was mortified! Boys were yucky and it was so embarrassing to know that one of them wanted to be my Valentine. I scribbled "NO" in huge letters inside the card and I'm pretty sure I ended up throwing the card in the bin. I was such a heartless child...
I'll be honest. I've spent 25 Valentine's Days without said valentine. Sometimes I care about that fact, and sometimes I don't. Like everyone else, I have a whole cocktail of feelings towards the day as a whole. Would I like it more if I were in a relationship? Honestly? No. I don't think I would. Materialistic affection means very little to me, and that's all I see Valentine's Day as. I'd rather have someone there for the emotional support and for all the little things in life - going out on day trips together, venturing out on a walk so I can get my photography fix, getting cosy on the sofa with some malteasers and the latest Netflix Original. The list could go on, but you get where I'm coming from.
For me, Valentine's Day is a huge gimmick. Call me cyncial, but it's just an excuse for retailers to ramp up the price of flowers, chocolates and creepy teddy bears. If you love someone then you should be showing them that you care all of the time, not just for one day of the year. Everyday should be Valentine's Day, not just February 14th.
~ C xxx
Thinking of something to blog about each week is sometimes difficult. The past couple of weeks I've mostly been writing creatively which is, more often than not, work that I'm not ready to share yet. I definitely figured out my own writing process a number of years ago. University really helped me to find my way, both with creative and critical writing, and I've carried on these habits into my mid-twenties as well.
I spend most of my lunch hours at work either reading or writing (that's if I'm not meeting my friend for a catch up of course c:). You honestly can't beat sitting in a busy coffee shop, mindless of the hustle and bustle, while the whole world passes you by. Usually I just zone out and write whatever comes to mind, which could honestly be anything. I'm definitely of the mind set "write drunk, edit sober", not that I'm insinuating that I'm drunk on my lunch hour! Sometimes when I read back some of the things I've scribbled down I do question that fact though...
My point is, I just write. Even if, at the time, I think it's terrible, that doesn't matter. What matters is that I'm brainstorming ideas and working them on to paper - I can fine tune the details later.
My lunch hour is normally reserved for poetry writing, although the odd short story has managed to worm its way in there as well. I started doing the "52 Short Stories in 52 Weeks" challenge, which has been really useful for getting the creative juices flowing and encouraging me to think outside of the box.
As a writer I have so many weird quirks. I can't write creatively on a laptop. I don't know why, I'm just faced with a huge mental block everytime I try to. It's the same with reading - I bought a kindle and never used it for reading because I just couldn't (okay but, holding an actual book is so much more satisfying than turning an electronic page). Traditional pen and paper is always the way for me, hands down. Also, tea. I don't know if it's a British thing or if it's just a "me" thing, but having a nice cuppa there to see me through the excruciating first edit is always necessary.
Music is another huge factor in my writing process. I find it really hard to concentrate in a silent room. Ever thought silence could actually be deafening? Well, it is to me. Similarly though, if I listen to music with words or if I have the TV on then I'm immediately distracted. My heart says "concentrate on the words on your page" but my brain says "you should probably rewatch this episode of Family Guy that you've seen at least a dozen times" or "hey, why don't you type the words to this song rather than something that will make sense?" Film scores are, quite frankly, the perfect soundtrack to my writing - my surroundings are blocked out but in the most beautiful way. My sountrack of choice at the moment is La La Land; totally overrated film but the soundtrack is amazing.
If you fancy having a look at any of my creative writing then head over to my tumblr blog here. I don't post often, but it's nice to share every now and again :)
~ C xxx
